I was there.

You ever see those old — like Renaissance old — paintings set side by side with famous people of today and the person in the painting looks exactly like the celebrity? Yeah, that’s because it is the celebrity. Okay here’s my admission. There’s a small group of immortals roaming the Earth. We tend to become famous because immortality can get really, really monotonous, and we like doing exciting things that attract attention. But we’re starting to encounter problems. At first, like in the 1800s, photography was just an interesting novelty. As it became more popular, some of us started showing up in the paper periodically. This was my first encounter with that situation. So there I was, in the hallway trying to catch a glimpse of that assassin, Oswald they called him. Then some nut job jumped out and shot him. The photographer caught his (and my) reaction right as the bullet struck. What are the chances?


So, how’d I do it?

First, I selected the images, importing them into Photoshop. The one you know, I’m sure. Here’s the other:

It’s me holding my friend’s baby (pretending she made a stinky). First, I discarded the color information, then selected the copy portion using the magnetic lasso tool with feathering set to 5. I copied and pasted the selection onto the Oswald image, then sized and positioned it using the transform tool. I darkened it and added some pixelation using the noise tool to better match pixelation in the image. I trimmed the neck to make it fit into the man’s collar and also used the clone stamp tool to remove a little of his chin and nose. Finally, I used the smudge tool around the edged of the pasted selection to smooth out the edges.

Anne Rice is LIVID!

Anne Rice and Mr. Patrick Whiskers are in a heated legal battle over the rights. There’s a lot of $$ at stake, but such is life in Hollywood!



How’d I do it?

I started by finding the highest-resolution image of the original movie poster, copied it and pasted it into a new Adobe Photoshop document.

I shot a selfie of Mr. Patrick Whiskers and then loaded it into photoshop, using the polygon lasso tool with feathering set to 20 to capture the mustache, which I copied and pasted onto the movie poster.

I used the transform tool to resize and position the mustache on Tom Cruise’s face.

For the fonts, I tried several and ended up using plain old Times New Roman, which most closely resembled the poster’s font. I made a new text layer right overtop of “VAMPIRE” and typed “MUSTACHE,” then adjusting the size, kerning, and height to best match the original. Matching the color was trickier, and I used the eyedropper tool to match a color in “VAMPIRE.” Something still wasn’t right. Looking closely at the original, there appeared to be a slight darkness added to the original poster’s font edges, which I duplicated by adding an outer glow effect on low settings.

To erase “VAMPIRE,” I made my text layer invisible by clicking the eye icon in the layers queue, then used the clone stamp tool to overwrite the poster’s font with its surrounding colors. I cleaned this up with a wipe of the spot healing brush tool, then made my text layer visible again and was pleased with the result.

Now that I had a template for the font, I duplicated that layer and repeated the process above for the line “THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES.” However, I discovered that both the font color and kerning are a little bit different on that line, so I adjusted the kerning to better match and used the eye dropper tool again to select a more matching font color. Obviously, the font size needed adjustment, and I settled on 9.

Then I repeated this process again to replace Brad Pitt’s name with my own, increasing the font size to 15 (though nothing matched perfectly) also bolding it to better match the poster.


And there you have it: Mr. Patrick Whiskers’ blockbuster hit!


Wait! Who’s Mr. Patrick Whiskers, you ask?

For shame!

Once, during a deployment, I became obsessed with my new ‘stache. I held a Facebook naming contest. While I had many, incredibly good suggestions, my children ultimately won out. One wanted to name the mustache “Patrick” while the other wanted “Mr. Whiskers.” Well, there you have it.